Tears as Prayer

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.

Psalm 56:8

Tears

There is plenty to cry over this month. Deadly shootings in Gilroy, California and Dayton, Ohio and El Paso, Texas. The amount of violence lately is hard to wrap the head and heart around. In addition, you may be dealing with your own personal loss or life transition, and feel tears right at the surface of your heart. I have learned a lot about tears this past year, having just passed the one-year anniversary of my precious son Peter’s death. I am especially finding tears as one of the most beautiful ways to pray.

The Physical Benefits to Crying

Crying is a natural response to stress, fear, and physical and emotional pain. Another natural response is to try to suppress the crying for fear of showing your emotion to others or feeling the emotional pain you do not want to feel. Yet crying has many benefits, including helping to calm you down. One study explained how crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system which helps people relax. Tears contain stress hormones and other chemicals, so when you cry, you are releasing those chemicals and relieving your stress. Shedding emotional tears also releases oxytocin and endorphins which help you feel good and ease both physical and emotional pain.

Tears as Prayer

Today I invite you to consider another even more beautiful benefit of tears. You can use your tears as prayer. Think of a time when you were so upset that you had no words to pray. There were times over this past year when I went to pray, and nothing came out but tears. I remember one time at church, after being overwhelmed by tears, I found myself staring at a big teardrop that had fallen from my eye onto the pew in front of me. I just stared at it, honoring all the pain and sadness inside of it, and prayed to God, “This is for You. You know everything inside that tear. Take it from me and hold it for me.”

Another time I was at the dinner table, about to say a prayer with my husband, and I burst into tears. I sat in silence with my husband for a moment and then said, “Amen.” Nothing else was needed, and I felt such calm and relief afterwards. I love this quote from Rita Schiano I found this year, “Tears are God’s gift to us. Our holy water. They heal us as they flow.”

An Honest Dialogue with the Divine

Crying brings you to a place of pure, raw honesty. In the middle of a cry, you are admitting everything that has been hidden in your heart and allowing it to flow to the surface of your being. It is in that authenticity that you are in a place of full surrender and humility before God. There are no words that can match the depth of emotion. When you are crying, words are not needed. A dialogue with the Divine takes place beyond thoughts and articulation. St. Ephrem, a Christian theologian born in 306, said, “Until you have cried, you don’t know God.” The Syrian Fathers of his time proposed that tears be a sacrament in the Church.

An Empty Place of Trusting God

It is in this raw and empty condition when we become open to hand our deep sorrow over to God. Because there is nothing left in us, we are ready to trust that God will hold the sadness in the gentle palm of God’s hand.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

I hope you will allow your tears to flow when they come to the surface. May you be open to the invitation that your tears can be your prayer of sorrow or your prayer of rejoicing. God knows your tears, collects your tears, and will hold them to comfort you.

The Prayer of Tears

By Edward Hays

Lord, Beloved God,

since all communion with You is prayer,

may even my tears be psalms of petition

and canticles of praise to You.

This is a prayer that You value greatly:

the prayer of my tears;

it is a prayer that You always hear

for You are a compassionate and kind God.

And, Lord, I know You understand

that when I am overcome by my tears-

unable to speak or form a prayer-

that these very tears voice volumes of verse.

All truly great prayer

rises from deep inside

and springs spontaneously to the surface.

It would then seem

that from among the many beautiful prayers,

the sacred songs and canticles of praise,

my tears may be the best worship of all.

Help me not to be ashamed of them;

show me how I can let go of control

and let this prayer of my heart, my tears,

flow naturally and freely to You,

my Blessed Lord and Divine Lover.

In times of joy or sorrow,

blessed be my tears,

the holy prayers of my heart.

Amen.