Are You Angry?

Lately, it seems, I have run into a lot of people who are angry. Angry at politicians who seem more focused on ego and political games than helping people. Angry at the amount of violence occurring around the country. Or angry at hurtful situations in their lives. The anger is targeted at people, situations, or God. (And by the way, God can take it, if you are angry at God).

I realize now how arrogant and judgmental my thinking used to be when I saw someone angry. My first thought was, “I’m so glad I’m not like that.” As I have been preparing for our upcoming retreats on the different ways God speaks to us, I have come to respect anger, see the importance of it, and care about recognizing where God is (or is not) in all of it.

Anger can be one of the more confusing, complicated, yet significant feelings to discern. You may have been brought up to “rise above” your anger. Maybe you have gotten into the habit of ignoring it so much that you do not even know it is simmering below the surface, manifesting in unhealthy ways. Maybe you think you are not a good Christian if you are angry. Or maybe you are even angry that I am bringing up anger in a reflection when you want to think about something more peaceful! (It is okay if you feel that way. Keep reading. We will get there.)

Is It Okay to Be Angry?

Reading Matthew 5:22, Anyone who is angry with his brother will have to answer for it before the judge, it is easy to only think of anger as a sin. For guidance on how to interpret this verse, I turn to author and Franciscan Friar Richard Rohr, who compiled essays on anger in his, "Oneing" series. Rohr sees this verse as a warning to not let anger overwhelm us rather than as a warning to never be angry.

I believe that Jesus is also saying that chosen and sustained anger can be its own kind of murder. It is a murdering of one's own soul, which often leads to justified killing for "godly" purposes. We cannot afford to be angry for long or the emotion has us instead of a self-possessed individual having a manageable emotion.

Rohr suggests anger is explained better in Ephesians 4:26. Even if you are angry, do not sin because of it. Never let the sun set on your anger or you will give the devil a foothold. In this verse, he says, there is a distinction between having a feeling and being controlled by that feeling. In other words, it is not bad to feel angry - anger is a feeling, and having a feeling is neither right nor wrong - it is bad to act out on it in a violent or hurtful way.

The Importance of Anger

Once you give yourself permission to feel anger, it is important to honor it. Give anger the time and space necessary to understand what it is telling you. God speaks to us through our feelings. Listen to what the anger might be telling you about yourself. Listen to how God may be calling you to respond.

In the book, "Oneing,” Sara Jolena Wolcott talks about the importance of anger.

Researchers point out that anger arises from a sense of something being "wrong"-and understanding that it could change. Anger can help us to get unstuck and lead us into action, which is desperately needed for us to create the world we want to live in.

Anger can tell you it is time to stick up for yourself if someone is treating you disrespectfully. Anger can also tell you it is time to leave a toxic or unfulfilling work situation. Do you find yourself angry at something unjust globally or right in your very neighborhood? This can be a nudge from God calling you to work for an important cause.

What Do I Do With the Anger?

If you are like me and you have a hard time being angry or even noticing if you are angry, spend some time listening to yourself and really honoring what is inside of you. Recognizing, listening, and working through anger can be an important part of a spiritual growth process.

If it is easy for you to be angry and you are full of anger right now, take some time to pull back and listen to what it is telling you. You do not want to be stuck in a place of anger for too long. As Rohr warned above, you do not want the emotion to own you as opposed to being “a self-possessed individual having a manageable emotion”. If you are stuck or find anger is your comfortable (and maybe even enjoyable) “go-to” emotion, ask yourself, "Where is my anger coming from?" “Is my anger coming from fear, an unjust situation, my ego and pride, or unresolved hurts and resentments?” “How can this anger help me?” “How is this anger hindering me?”

The Root of Anger

Anger is usually masking another emotion, says Shayne Hughes, in the HuffPost article dated December 7, 2017, “Vulnerability: The Counterintuitive Antidote to Anger.”

It is a coping mechanism, a sign that something that matters to us is not as we want it to be -- and we feel powerless to change it. This last point is crucial. If we believed we could effectively change the situation, we already would have and wouldn't feel such intense frustration.

We choose (unconsciously) to get angry because the powerful feelings of anger are less painful and uncomfortable than the more raw emotions beneath them. Feelings of powerlessness, inadequacy, shame and failure are common instigators of anger, and avoiding them helps me feel invulnerable, in control, and numb to what is hurting me in that moment.

Your Invitation to Listen

The more time and energy you spend listening to the voice of God - within yourself, in others, and in the many ways God is speaking to you - the more you will be able to honor your anger and discern whether it is the voice of God or the voice of your ego. Are you using it as an excuse to say hurtful things? Or are you being called to speak out and make change in an unjust situation at home, work, or within government, education, or religious institutions? These questions require serious and honest discernment. But with time, work, and perhaps some help from a counselor or spiritual director, you can dig into your anger and uncover your call to grow, your call to serve, and your call to love. And that is where you will find your peace. (See, I told you I would eventually get to the peaceful part.)

Let Us Pray

God of passionate life, who sends the sparks, who lights the inner blaze and tends the flame, fill us with your radiance. Enkindle us with your love. Touch us with your goodness so that we will be the kindling of your generous compassion. May the truth we seek and accept shine through all we are and do. God of passionate life, stir up the embers of our joy. Amen.

By Joyce Rupp, “May I Have This Dance?”