Holding Sacred Space

A Beautiful Gift

This past week I got the moment I have been waiting for. My favorite kind of moment. A small group of people sitting in a circle, listening to each other, and holding sacred space for one another. We held our first sacred circle and I am still feeling the warm embrace of our beautiful time together.

Holding sacred space for another is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give. Holding sacred space means listening without judgement and without advice. You offer no fix it formulas. When you listen with a heart full of compassion and no agenda, you are saying, “Let us walk together in this loud, sometimes joyful, sometimes painful world. Let us listen to each other and allow God to hold us and lead us in discussion. Let us allow the Holy Spirit to do the healing.” This kind of listening is empowering. It shows the other person they have the Divine wisdom inside them to figure things out. A relationship focused on listening is meaningful because it places Christ (not our ego, pride, or need to fix things) at the center of the friendship.

Sacred Space and Listening

Creating sacred space is key to Retreat, Reflect, Renew’s mission statement. As a board, we spend a lot of time reflecting on the meaning of sacred spaces to ensure that we are creating the environment for them. We define sacred space as a Christ-centered space focused on listening. The key is that you are feeling held in a loving, supportive, and respectful environment. You are honored for who you are and accepted wherever you are on your journey. Our new Sacred Circle program is an exciting new way to fulfill our mission.

Empathy

This type of listening with an open heart is what empathy looks like, and we need so much more empathy in this world. Empathy is more compassionate than sympathy. Sympathy can divide the space between two people. When you say, “I feel sorry for you,” you are taking yourself out of the space. Empathy is saying, “I am feeling with you.” You are in the space together. You may not understand it. You might never have experienced something similar, but you are in it together. Researcher and author Dr. Brene Brown says "Empathy fuels connection while sympathy drives disconnection.”

An empathic listener frames a conversation in a way in which you do not see that person as unlucky or someone who made poor choices in life, but rather a broken or imperfect person, just like you. You are two people walking on holy ground together. This sacred space does not come naturally. Dr. Brene Brown says it is a choice, one that takes practice because judgment is our default.

Holding Sacred Space for Yourself

Holding sacred space for another starts with learning how to hold sacred space for yourself. It is hard not to judge others if you are always judging yourself. You will want to fix others if you haven’t worked on the process of “letting go and letting God” within yourself.

All of this is a journey. The more you connect with people who honor themselves and others, the easier it is to improve at this skill. As you offer this sacred space, the more you can help build a better society with less divisiveness, less disrespect, less hate, and less violence.

There is much joy and grace in the world, and there is also much pain and disrespect. When you feel as if you are on a treadmill, trying to make sense of it all or fix it for yourself or others, spend time in sacred space. It will calm your restless heart and help you to see the light in any situation. We are wired for this type of connection. We hunger for it because God made us to be an interdependent and loving people.

Hold Sacred Space for Others

I encourage you to think about how you can better hold sacred space for yourself and others in your life. Allow for more listening, patience, and gentleness: with yourself; with a loved one; with a friend. Imagine a society with more of this Christ-centered connection and community.

Sacred Space Container

Allow the other to exist as is

Honor the other to be as is

Validate the other to think as is

To witness the other to grow as is

To accept the other to live as is

To see no lack and resist nothing

This can only occur when we hold this space for ourselves first.  

Conscious Insights