Mention God at Christmas?
‘Tis the Season for Family Gatherings
It is that time of year when there are often more family and friend gatherings. For some of you that may mean spending time with people you do not see on a regular basis. It may also mean spending more time with people who do not share the same religious or spiritual views as you. If so, I am wondering if you have ever been in a situation in which you wanted to say something about your faith with family and felt too nervous? Or too vulnerable? Or too awkward, worried what the reaction may be.
Want to Share Your Faith?
A lot of people tell me they want to talk about their faith with their adult kids or other family members but are unsure how to do that without causing tension. You may have someone in your life who is struggling and you want to share what helps you. You know how much comfort it can bring but you are not sure how far you should take the conversation. Sometimes when I am in that situation I fear I am going to sound too preachy or I wonder if I will scare someone into a conversation they are not ready to have.
How to Share Openly and Lovingly
If you are wondering about the people who will be gathered at your Christmas dinner and how you could talk more openly about your faith, I have a few reflections for you to ponder. In my experience, I have found that people yearn for a spiritual conversation as long as it doesn't sound judgmental. People want a sacred space to share their thoughts, questions, and feelings.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Before I say anything I go through a short mental checklist of questions.
Am I coming from a place of love or am I feeling defensive? If I sense I am feeling defensive, I stay quiet for a while. I do a quick self-assessment (what are my fears or insecurities here?), I say a short prayer, and then re-assess if I can offer thoughts out of love.
Am I sharing my experience and using the word "I" in my example? Starting sentences with "you should" or “everybody thinks” can sound preachy, judgmental, and may be full of unwanted advice. This will make the other person feel defensive. Sharing your experience of a new prayer practice, an inspiring book, or faith sharing group is helpful.
What is my intent? It is important to be honest with yourself here. If my intent is to convert people to feel and think like me, I am engaging out of my ego rather than my heart. I remind myself that a conversion is the job of the Holy Spirit. My job is to share my stories of how much God gives me strength and comfort in the most challenging of times. I say what I feel called to say and know I am not responsible for anything beyond that. I respect the people I am talking with and trust the Holy Spirit is working differently in each and every one of us.
Let me be honest. I most certainly do not always engage from a place of love. When I feel hurt or fearful my defenses take on a life of their own. If you struggle with this as well and feel some anxiety in anticipation of holiday gatherings with family, I hope you will remember this checklist. Enjoy your holiday gatherings with respect and without even realizing it, you will be spreading a faith-filled message of love this season.
A Great Way to Share Your Faith
If you have a friend or family member who is in need of feeling God's love and comfort but may be a little unsure how to reach out, I hope you will consider my personal retreat. I love this journal because it is a gentle walk through the personal and spiritual growth process without sounding preachy or judgmental. It is perfect for someone who needs help with self-acceptance and in need of a comfortable way to feel God's presence and comfort.
May God bless you, your Advent season, and Christmas gatherings.