Tired of Praying?

What Does Prayer Mean to You?

How many times have you said, “I’ll keep you in my prayers,” over this past year of pandemic? What do you mean when you say this? How do you define prayer? And do you ever find yourself wondering if it even helps as such devastating stories continue to unfold?

While prayer is beautiful and comforting, there can be times when it just feels flat and frustrating, especially if you are not getting the results you want. If you are tired of praying because you still feel anxious afterwards, or you are not sure if it helps, you are not alone. A wide range of experiences are part of a normal prayer life. You can have a wonderful, peaceful moment of encounter one day, and an anxious, distracted experience the next.

Am I Praying the Right Way?

Your connection with God will have so much to do with what is going on in your life. It is also influenced by your image of God, your upbringing, your culture, and the type of prayer you choose. It has nothing to do with whether you are doing it, “right” or “wrong.” Be kind to yourself if you are comparing your prayer life with the prayer practices of others. There is no one way to experience prayer. You may notice that the prayers of your younger days may not speak to you anymore. Life experiences, such as divorce, illness, or loss of a loved one may alter your needs, expectations, or image of God when you come to prayer. You may be called to find new ways to pray and connect with the Divine.

New Perspective on Prayer

Opening your heart and mind to a new way of thinking about prayer may help enhance your relationship with God. I invite you to reflect on some different perspectives on prayer in the hopes they inspire you.

I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.

Mother Teresa

This is an empowering quote and helpful to reflect on during this devastating pandemic in which we are seeing way too many people struggling with grief and financial strain. The quote also speaks to a tendency to make prayer a transaction: I pray and I expect to see an immediate result. Yet, when faced with such widespread issues, approaching prayer as a transaction, can leave you feeling powerless and hopeless. Mother Teresa’s advice - treat prayer as a place of listening to your call to serve - is a beautiful invitation. Putting the focus on your response to upsetting situations, lightens the heaviness, knowing you can do your part to help the world. Spiritual author Joyce Rupp says, “Through prayer we become more loving, gracious, compassionate, and justice-oriented human beings. When this happens, we are altered in a positive way and the world we touch is also changed for the better.”

Sometimes, when it is all, finally too much, I climb into my car, roll the windows up, and somewhere between backing out the driveway and rounding the first corner, I let out a yell that would topple Manhattan. How do you pray?

Margaret L. Mitchell

Prayer can be formal or informal. If you grew up with a more formal prayer life (e.g. memorized prayers, saying the Rosary), do you find conversations with God to be as powerful? This quote brings up the question, “How honest are you with God?” Do you bring your authentic self to your prayer life when you are angry or hurt or feeling hopeless? I will never forget my prayer of desolation one night, when I prayed, “God, I am disappointed in you.” That continued to be my prayer for a while. I wasn’t worried that God was going to be mad at me. Nor was I afraid of hurting God’s feelings. Showing up for prayer with such honesty was liberating and healing. God is big enough to take anything you say in your prayers.

We're always looking for big messages; we don't need big messages. We just need these tiny little moments, these little things that touch our hearts and souls, and let us know that we're really alive to the Gospel message that's in front of us. 

Sr. Anne Smollin

If only God could tell us what we are supposed to hear in loud, bold, and obvious ways. We are often looking for the burning bush Moses received in Exodus 3:1-6. Frantically listening for signs from God causes frustration and despair. When we slow down, welcome the silence, and let go of our own agenda, we can hear the voice of God right in front of us. The more we open ourselves to God’s grace in the here and now, the more we understand God’s voice is louder than we realize.

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.

Excerpt from The Thoms Merton Prayer

The Thomas Merton prayer is one of my favorites. It comes from a place of such honesty, humility, and fervent desire. If you spend a lot of time and energy trying to second guess God, to please God, or to create a perfect prayer life according to some image you have of what “a perfect prayer life” is supposed to be, allow yourself to just be where you are. Allow that to be the prayer. As many have been quoted as saying, “God doesn’t love you because you are good. God loves you because God is good.”

Prayer is about entering into a relationship with God. It is anytime you decide right here and right now, I am communicating with the Divine. With that definition, you can be painting, walking, dancing, journaling, crying, breathing, or sitting, and all of it can be prayer. Be attentive to how you feel during your prayer time, and whether it is time to change your prayer practice or adjust your attitude towards prayer. The next time you say, “I’ll pray for you,” that phrase may have a whole new meaning and even a whole new outcome.

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What has been your experience of prayer during the pandemic? What do you do when you have a hard time praying?