Talking about God
A Reflection by Christine Jurisich
The holiday season often brings more gatherings than usual with family and friends we do not see regularly. Think about who that might be for you. Will some of your time be spent with people who do not share your religious or spiritual views? If so, I wonder if you struggle with how to share your faith, and how to talk about God. Have you ever been in a situation in which you wanted to mention God or share a prayer but worried it would feel too awkward or be perceived as offensive?
Many tell me they want to share their faith with family yet are unsure how to do so without causing tension. Some lament that their adult kids or grandchildren no longer attend church. Perhaps you have a family member experiencing a stressful time in their life and you want to share what helps you.
How do you start a conversation about God?
Is there a way to do so without sounding preachy?
In what ways can you tell if your sharing is appreciated or offensive?
In my experience, I find that many yearn for a spiritual conversation—as long as they do not feel like they are being judged. People want a safe place to share their thoughts, questions, and feelings. The world is an unpredictable place right now. People are asking the big questions of life. Many seek a nonjudgmental place to have a conversation and sort out all that is heavy on their heart and mind.
Before you enter into a conversation about faith, here are a few helpful questions to ask yourself.
Am I coming from a place of love?
Am I feeling love or am I feeling threatened by another perspective? If you sense you are feeling defensive, stay quiet for a while. Do a quick self-assessment. What are your fears or insecurities? Say a prayer. Reassess if you can offer thoughts out of love.
Am I sharing my experience and speaking in the first person?
Starting a sentence with "you should" or “everybody thinks” can sound preachy and judgmental. You may be giving unwanted advice. Telling your personal story in the first person (“In my experience. . .”) is a powerful way to share your faith. Talk about your experience of a new prayer practice or an inspiring book.
What is my intent?
If you intend to convert people to believe exactly the way you do, you are engaging out of your ego rather than your heart. Remind yourself that the Holy Spirit is in charge of the conversion. You are here to offer your experience and thoughts that may or may not provide help to someone. Listen the best you can to what you are called to share or not share. Respect the people with whom you are talking. Trust that the Holy Spirit works differently in each one of us.
Is it time to listen?
Often when I want to share something about my faith, I will remind myself that the best evangelizing can be the listening kind. There is a saying often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary use words.” While I do believe there are times when it is important to use words, it is just as important (and many times more powerful) to simply be a loving and welcoming presence for another person. Ask the person in front of you to tell you their story.
So many people want to be seen and heard with love and respect. If their story is honored and treated with dignity, they are much more receptive to hearing about God. You may have entered the conversation with something to teach, only to find you were the one called to learn in that moment.
Infuse all your interactions with love and respect and without even realizing it, you will be spreading a faith-filled message of love this season. May God bless all your interactions during this Advent and Christmas season.
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What is your experience with sharing your faith?
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