The Dance of Life
It is true that the majority of my days are spent in a pretty serious kind of way. I read, write, and pray on how to navigate this complicated life with God and reflect on how I am called to share these ruminations with you. Yet there is another side to me that is a little less serious. I love to dance! My mom says it started when I was two. I would take the phone off the hook and dance to the beat of the dial tone. This love for dancing passed on to my kids, and I treasure those moments of silliness and freedom. The picture above is from one Halloween when my daughter Taylor and son Peter dressed up like the Bee Gees. Taylor was on a dance team for several years and Peter’s dancing came out when he wanted to make people loosen up and laugh. One of his friends posted on social media a video of him dancing to the beat of the fire drill as they were all exiting the classrooms at school!
As many of you know, my son died at the age of sixteen from a brain aneurysm. For a long time after, the last thing I wanted to do was dance. Just hearing the music we enjoyed together was painful, and some of it still is. Yet now—five years later—fun and silly dancing moments in my backyard with friends and family are starting to happen again. For me, it is a different experience of dancing. An experience that can only be explained by a word introduced to me at my son’s funeral by my now dear friend, Jesuit Father Tom O’Neill. For the past five years, Fr. Tom has walked me and my family through our grief in his generous and open-hearted way. At Peter’s funeral—after hearing how much Peter loved to dance—he used the word "perichoresis” in his homily. Looking out from the altar at a church packed full of people confused by this tragedy, Fr. Tom said the following as he spoke of the mystery of life and the holy dance that grounds us in it.
"When our early Christian brothers and sisters were trying to express what was at the very heart of their belief in this God of Love Who is Father, Son and Spirit; when they tried to find a way to explain this deepest mystery of a Love so alive, dynamic and eternal that it can never, ever end, this is how they explained it: A fancy Greek word—perichoresis—it means ‘to dance.’ At the heart of God is an eternal dance of Love."
Perichoresis is a Greek word used to describe the binding of the Trinity - the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (I am using the traditional words of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for this reflection. You may have your own words to describe this mystery in a way that helps you draw closer to it such as Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier.) Periochoresis could be translated as “around,” “to give way” or “to make room.” Some scholars picture this as a sort of choreographed dance.
I love the word because it explains the dynamic experience of faith, the mystery of God, and the reality of a life-long grief journey that holds opposite emotions at the same time. I can feel joy and sadness. I can miss my son and feel he is with me. I can dance in the middle of a fun family moment while holding the realities of life close to my heart. Life is a mystery. God is a mystery. Healing resides in the ability to come to peace with that truth.
Fr. Tom’s use of the word perichoresis reminds us that a relationship with God is like a dance. Some steps forward in love; some sideways in confusion; some backwards in questioning and sadness when there is a loss or disappointment that cannot be explained. Recognizing that there are different experiences of God within the Trinity reminds you there are different ways to be held, supported, comforted, and empowered. These different containers—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—are really one container of love. They are all part of the same dance as they move with you according to your needs, the situation, and what you are able to emotionally or spiritually access at the time. For me, God is Creator and a Divine energy of comforting presence, Jesus is a companion walking with me, and the Holy Spirit is support and empowerment to use my gifts and participate and co-create in the world. The experience of each one ebbs and flows depending on my season of life.
Dancing is about movement, and your relationship with the Holy Trinity is dynamic as well. As you physically age and spiritually grow, you see things differently. Your experience is ever-evolving. You are moving and dancing, and this container is fluid. All of its parts move with you, holding you throughout every beat of life.
When you find yourself in a stressful time and feel as if God is not around, reflect on the Holy Trinity. Be open to receiving strength in a new rhythm. Perhaps you have only felt God as Creator in a universal, vague type of way; or God in Jesus as more of a friend. Be open to the various experiences of God and the different types of strength each provides.
I used the picture above because it makes me laugh, and I want it to be a reminder that God is in everything. Joy and laughter can and should be shared with God. Dance as you embrace the fullness of life. A moment of dancing does not need to be reserved for a carefree moment that depends on denying the realities of life. It can be carefree in the way true inner freedom detaches from all the things that separate you from God.
As we enter the warmer months, I hope you get a chance to dance this summer. Dance for the joys of life and to appreciate the lighter moments. Dance with the awareness of the beauty of life—in all its mystery. Dance with an awareness that however you are moving through life right now, God in all the dynamic and mysterious ways of the Holy Trinity is dancing with you.
Listen to this monthly retreat reflection on YouTube.
Share in a Sacred Circle
How do you describe your dance of faith? The second full week of the month, we offer three drop-in Sacred Circles on Zoom and one in person. It’s a chance to share the monthly reflection in a safe and welcoming environment. We have a new evening session! Look for an invitation with the Zoom link the Monday morning of the week’s sessions. Learn more here.
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How do you describe your dance of faith? What kind of genre of music or type of dance would you use to describe it?
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