Courage
It takes courage to engage in life, love, and faith.
Sometimes it takes courage to get up in the morning.
Until I realized this, I had not thought of myself as a courageous person. I believed courage was reserved for a few bold, fearless, larger-than-life leaders of the world. Any time I needed the courage to speak up for myself, look for a job, reach out for help, meet a new friend, or try something new, I would wait to feel bold, confident, and fearless. Many times those feelings never came, and opportunities were missed. The result was a lot of resentful feelings towards others and frustration with myself.
Now I see courage as something within each and every one of us because God is inside us. I no longer view courage as some lofty goal attainable only by the superheroes and saints of the world, but as the place where we meet God. It is the place where fear and trust meet.
With this definition, courage needs to be cultivated just as we nurture our relationship with God. Courage becomes the fruit of that relationship; it is a calling to live into as a Christian navigating the sometimes harsh realities of life.
Fear and Trust
When you look at courage as a place of befriending fear and trust at the same time, you no longer have to rely on pretending to be strong when you are scared, or waiting to feel bold when you have to make an intimidating move. Acknowledge the fear and walk with it at the same time you work on trusting God. The invitation is to find a sense of God being with you, no matter what. And with God, you can do anything.
Courage looks and feels different every day. There are times when having courage means being focused on taking one breath to get you to the next. Other times, it is voicing your truth despite being nervous about the reaction. I recently wrote a list of my most courageous moments.
My Courageous Moments
Going to work the day after being demoted in my first TV job.
Leaving my dream job as a TV anchor and reporter to be a stay-at-home mom.
Joining a faith-sharing group for the first time.
Telling people I was writing a book.
Creating boundaries with my time (saying no to people) to make space for writing the book.
Asking the founding board members of Retreat, Reflect, Renew to help me start something when I had no idea what I was called to create.
Supporting my daughter’s desire to go to college out of state.
Helping my son walk into the arms of God in the last hours of his life.
Planning my son’s funeral.
Crying in the arms of a friend.
Calling my neighbor in the middle of a panic attack.
Going to therapy.
Writing and sharing this list.
Getting from One Breath to the Next
As I reflect on my list, I see that my most courageous moments were not ones in which I felt bold and fearless. I felt vulnerable and sick to my stomach. I felt as if I was opening myself up to either rejection, or the unknown, or judgment. There was fear and plenty of insecurities. What got me from one breath to the next was trust. When I say trust, I don’t mean a warm and fuzzy feeling that everything is going to work out according to my plan. Sometimes I was in paralyzing fear or stress or isolation. It was a choice to move to the next moment with the hope that God’s grace would be holding me if I allowed myself to be vulnerable; a belief that if I surrendered my plan, God would walk with me in another plan. In more recent years, my acts of courage come with a sense of an alignment with the mysteries of life.
This is difficult stuff. Each one of my sentences have stories of doubt and darkness attached to them. My ability to surrender in many instances just felt like a gift from God, and I am thankful for those raw moments. They brought me to the next moment of feeling loved, comforted, and connected with humanity. In some instances it has taken years (even decades) to see how those moments brought me closer to my true self, to others, and to God.
The Gifts That Come from Surrendering
When you surrender to the illusion of control and fear of the unknown, your sight can become clearer to new possibilities.
When you surrender your need to prove you know what you are doing, you can find the freedom that comes with self-acceptance. While you may be unsure of what to do, you can trust that the right people will come along to show you.
When you surrender your independence and protective shield and allow yourself to be vulnerable with others, you can find comfort and healing in intimate connections with people.
Holding fear alongside trust is an authentic way to find strength and navigate challenging moments. I can tell you this honest and more humble way is a lot less exhausting and easier to get through trying times. Courage is no longer about putting on a show or acting tough. It is about getting in touch with your emotions in a real way, which is exactly where God resides.
Listen to this reflection on YouTube.
Join the Conversation
All this month we will be talking about courage in our Sunday monthly reflections, Sacred Circles, and our four-week online retreat. I hope you will join us. We can draw a lot of strength and inspiration from listening to each others’ stories and different definitions of courage.
“Courage for the Call” Online Retreat
Join us for our online retreat. You can take it as a self-paced experience - the content will be up for one year. Or you can share each week online and live on Zoom. Learn more.
Share in Community
Would you like to discuss your thoughts on this month’s reflection? The second week of the month, we offer three drop-in Sacred Circles on Zoom and one in person. It’s a chance to share the monthly reflection in a safe and welcoming environment. We have a new evening session! An invitation with the Zoom link goes out on the Monday morning of the week’s sessions. Check out our times here.
Share Right Here
Let us know about your thoughts after reading this reflection. How do you define courage?
Share on Facebook Private Page
We will be having a more in depth conversation on this topics on our Facebook private page. Look for “Retreat, Reflect, Renew Private Space.”